Listen To This Little One...

Listen to the Mustn'ts, child, listen to the Don'ts
Listen to the Shouldn'ts, the Impossibles, the Won'ts.
Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me.
Anything can happen, child, Anything can be.
                                                         -Shel Silverstein

The above poem truly warms my heart. May you forever listen to God and know that anything can happen, any thing is possible. You are our proof of this.

I cannot sleep today, allergies and post-nasal drip are wrecking havoc on my throat and ability to sleep. I sit here sipping on some warm cinnamon apple tea, in hopes of soothing my throat some. The TV is on, but all I can think of is you. You are SO worth every discomfort this pregnancy is causing me. If I could endure the months and months of struggle, and losses of your siblings, I can endure all of these discomforts knowing that you are healthy and strong. Your kicks that are getting stronger and stronger each week prove this to me. You may have a stubborn streak because you like to stay so low and cover up your face so the doctors cannot see your full face, I pray that this stubborn streak transfers into a young man that is able to stand strong in the Lord even when others try to move you.

Call me sappy, but I cried the other day thinking about you growing up. I could almost see you tall, dark, and handsome, like your daddy, on your wedding day. I am already praying for your future wife and you aren't even born! I truly thought our first child we held in our arms would be a little girl, but I now know that God had the best plan for our family. I think about how much of a blessing you will be, to have a little boy that grows up to be a man, one that knows how to treat and respect women, because Heaven knows we need more of them on this earth.

I pray life is good to you. That you have no big complaints having James and I as your mother and father. I hope we are where you feel safe at home, that God truly will use us to help you grow into a strong man of God, and you feel blessed to have us as your Mom and Dad. I pray that you will never feel too judged to come to us with anything. I hope that life gives you just enough bits of the hard stuff so you will not take things for granted, but not so much that you lose hope and feel crushed by it. That you will be sensitive to others in need, not be afraid to step up when a friend or family member needs a shoulder to cry on, that you will have your father's sense of humor and worth ethic, and that you will be a blessing to everyone you meet in life.

I do not know what God has in store for you, but I do know it will be something bigger than we could ever imagine. A good friend once said, "You will be like Hannah and Elizabeth, who prayed and prayed and God gave them a baby." (Thank you DeAnn!) I didn't think much of it then, where I was at with our journey, but now I certainly do. All of that prayer for a baby, and for all the things we have prayed for you, before you were even here God has to have big plans for you! Look at the children that Hannah and Elizabeth were blessed with. They raised men that were vitally important to ministry.

It has been a rough road to get you here, and you aren't even in my arms yet, but feeling you kick and watching my belly grow gives me so much hope that it is truly possible that your father and I will know what it is like to parent a newborn little boy before the end of the year. I am thankful for the struggle, because it makes me realize how precious life truly is. And how blessed couples are to have children, conception and growth of an embryo into a living breathing newborn is truly a miracle!

Tonight when thinking about where we have come to this point, I realized your due date is so close to when I found out that I have a unicornuate uterus. Isn't it amazing how God can cultivate healing in the heart over a year? You have replaced the sorrow and despair over my less than perfect lady parts with Joy in knowing that they Lord is forever Good and Faithful. He can truly do anything, with God nothing is impossible. Please keep this in mind, even when tough things in life may make it seem like you are in the dark and surely about to walk into some devastating obstacle. God will make a way. Be it with a small light to brighten your path so you can see, or a friend that will help you walk the path so you do not feel as alone and desperate.

You have been prayed for by more people than either of us can imagine. And while the tears that flowed at times haven't helped my post nasal drip, getting the words out were necessary for my heart. Because, call me cheesy, but sometimes I feel like my heart is full of love so much that it may burst.

I love you little man, and cannot wait for your arrival in December. You are SO loved and wanted.
♥ Mommy