I cannot help but feel like we are in the final stretch of this pregnancy. I am trying to relish in every little moment. Remember what the flutters, kicks, rolls, and hiccups have felt like. Remembering what it was like to realize, "I think I'm pregnant", to the point where I realized, "This could be our take home baby, finally!" And to now where I am still sitting on the edge teetering, hoping and believing that even as delicate as this small life inside of me is, that God will pull through on this blessing and allow us to have a son. Here on Earth, and not another in heaven.
Some days my faith is SO strong and I believe that he will make it to full term, believing that we have no worries for him to be here until December hits.
Other days, I think what it would be like to have a baby staying in the NICU while returning home empty handed. Or worse. But I do not let my mind dwell on these thoughts for long, because I know our God is not a God of fear. And it is to Him that I look for strength and hope.
These next four weeks without a glimpse into my baby's world are going to be pretty jam packed I have a feeling. There is SO much that I want to get done around the house. From making things better organized, to keeping a cleaner house (this is truly a struggle for me), to finishing our little one's nursery, having a weekend away with James, getting outfits around for maternity pictures, my work baby shower, a baby shower for friends (the family shower will be after my next ultrasound!), and getting the house ready for winter.
Because after these four weeks, anything can truly happen! At my next ultrasound I will be 31 weeks, they will be checking on the baby's growth and most likely checking for amniotic fluid levels. At 32 weeks my weekly appointments filled with an hour NST and ultrasounds to check fluid levels start. At 35 weeks, another growth ultrasound. And again at 39 weeks. Mixed in with the long appointments of NST, Ultrasound, and checkups with my doctors.
It is going to be a whirlwind! I hope I am up for all of the craziness of school, work, doctor's appointments, holidays, and life in general. If I start to lose it, kindly remind me that we have been waiting two years to hold our own little baby and that all of this will melt away as soon as he is placed in my arms. I am SO looking forward to that blessed moment, the moment that I have prayed for, longed for, and hoped would one day happen.
On to my ultrasound appointment, other than the doctor's office being rather slow this time, everything went well! James was actually able to come with me this time around, and most likely able to come for my next one. I love seeing him look at our son and say things like, "He really is getting bigger!" He is going to be a great dad, and I cannot wait to see him in action.
When we got into the room for the ultrasound, they started over my abdomen. The ultrasound tech allowed us to enjoy watching our little guy move about before she started doing the measurements. First she measured the abdomen, then moved onto the femur. She took some shots of his profile, the placenta, and measured his heart beat (it was 140 this time). I loved watching him blink his eyes, and at one point we are unsure if he was sucking his finger, but it looked like he was saying "Shhhhhh!" I don't think he was too happy with the fact that he was so content head down, again right in my pelvis, and we were trying to get him to move up enough so she could measure his head. The tech had me rock side to side, I even tried poking him, but he was content and stubbornly refused to move (which is okay with me, head down means higher chance of not needing a C-Section!).
Next she moved on to the transvaginal portion to see about measuring his head and my cervix. I know this may be horrid, but I call it the dildo cam...because that really is what it is comparable to in my opinion. I am definitely not disappointed that this is my last meeting with this wand. My cervix is still measuring super long at 4.6cm. Definitely thinking I may need to start walking so it can begin to shorten as the baby gets bigger. At the end she did all the calculations, the amniotic fluid level was perfect, and our little guy is estimated to weigh 2lbs 5oz. I know that growth ultrasounds can be off by a pound (or more the further along you are, and it also depends on the skill level & accuracy of the ultrasound tech), but if this is his true weight that means in 12 days he gained 1 lb, 1 oz. That is CRAZY!
When talking to the doctor he explained why the increase in watching the baby after 32 weeks. Being that I am a high risk pregnancy (unicornuate uterus -UU-, controlled hypertension, and a clotting disorder) at 32 weeks they could intervene if necessary and deliver the baby with a greater chance that he would survive. The amniotic fluid level checks are due to my UU because of the higher chances of loss in the third trimester. It also gives them a chance to look at my placenta, because due to hypertension, after 32 weeks the placenta can go "haywire" he said. Basically, this means how efficiently the placenta is giving oxygen and nutrients to the growing baby that needs more and more could start to fail to meet the baby's needs and at that point it would be safer for the baby to be out breathing in oxygen instead of in and breathing amniotic fluid. My hypertension is well controlled, and though I am at a higher risk for preclamsia due to both PCOS and hypertension, I really do not forsee it being an issue (praying against it!).
Oh, and we also met with another doctor I hadn't met yet. I think that I have two or three more to meet before I can say I have met everyone in the office. The great thing is, there is only one that I still do not like! My next ultrasound appointment is with another doctor I haven't met yet, and then I will probably try to get in to see my main doctor for the following week.
It is crazy to think that in another week I will be out of the second trimester and into the third. This pregnancy is going by faster and faster the further along I get. Discomforts and all, James and I are so incredibly blessed to be this far and so thankful that our little guy is doing well!
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| It was truly amazing to see the detail of his nose and lips at the appointment! |
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| We both really believe this is a smile that he is showing off here, like haha, try to get me to move. I'll show you! Watching the eyes blink was amazing on 2D, I am supposed to be going to LCC for a free 3D ultrasound at some point, and cannot wait to see this little guy's features that way! |
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