Spending Time in the Silence

Do you ever feel that spiritual "dry" times when you are no longer hearing God speak to you daily? For me my dry times are when I don't set aside time to worship Him. I forget to seek His will for my day. I put off reading the Bible. I get caught up in the stress and business of life.

And then there are times such as now, when I think that God is being silent because of all of the above. Then I hear his whisper when I finally slow down to reflect on why I haven't felt like he has been speaking to my heart as frequently.

"I am being silent because I have already told you what I wish for you to do sweet child. You are meant to do this, just act. Decide. Listen. Spend time with me, help me to direct your path. That doesn't mean I am going to show you every foot step along the journey. I will make you sure footed as a doe, I will give you reassurances along the way. But to know that you are sure-footed you have to be making steps. You have to be acting."

It is one thing to say to God, "Choose me." It is another thing to act upon which he is calling you to.
There are 2 times that I thrive for when it comes to spending time with God in our house hold. Nap time and bedtime when everyone is sleeping peacefully and the Holy Spirit says...not yet, get up, lets talk. The days I work, I will not lie it is so hard to make quiet time with God.

I am not a morning person by heart. But some days, like days I work....that may be the only time I get to experience along time with God in the quiet. Scripture and speakers on the pod casts I listen to have been talking about how people rise in the morning to spend time with God. I felt that knowing tug on my heart. And I said to God, "Surely you don't mean me. You created me, you know I am not a morning person. I already have to leave the house at 515 the mornings that I work. I get up at 4, you want me to get up at 330?"

God just wants those waking moments, whatever time it is. This season that I am in, I cannot fathom giving up another half hour of sleep when sleep is often times interrupted at least once during the middle of the night. But shouldn't we give up things for Christ? Doesn't he call us to lay down our lives for us? Doesn't he say he will strengthen us and hold our heads up? He will be our rest. I may have to wake up at 330 in the morning or get Matthew to bed and get back up to reflect on your day, praise God, find joy in your trials....or simply to spend time in God's word and hear him in the quiet. He wants you to pray, but more than that he wants you to listen. It's a relationship, it is a conversation, not a one sided dialog.

Spend time in the silence with God. Do a devotion. Listen to some worship music. If you miss church pick a day or a couple days of the week to listen to pod casts that teach Godly lessons to your soul. Reflect on what you heard with Jesus. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you, to burden your heart for what God wants you to pray for.

Praying for a Prayer Group

"Satan does not own this world, it belongs to God. He has used you as His ambassadors to make known His kingdom come, His will be done." 

Lacrae speaking on "Serving God in Our Culture" 

Focus on the Family broadcast

Sometimes I can be pretty stubborn. I question and contemplate my actions, think about consequences for each choice that I could make, and when I am walking close to Christ I really feel like I should have one of those old WWJD bracelets on. Because my heart questions what Jesus would think about x, y, or z. I love my husband the other night he said something along the lines of, "I always knew I was stubborn, but as it turns out my wife is even more so. God has to hit her over the head to know anything is from Him." It made me laugh because it is so true. 

When I was writing that last entry a week ago, I felt this prompting to start a prayer group. I knew in my heart at that point that Sue and Essie were going to take a break for the summer, I felt it was time to jump in. Over a week I mulled over if it was really from God or something I dreamed up by myself. I thought to myself, it will be myself and 9 other ladies. Ten total and I thought it would be all online, just in case Sue and Essie didn't stop group...and lets be honest the intimacy and bravery it takes to step out in faith with your prayers in front of others. I was afraid to meet face to face! There I said it (and I really do think a virtual prayer group is an awesome idea that could spread like rapid fire if we accepted the Holy Spirit to be fully present in it).

Anyways, stay with me. God is SO good that when you question yourself he will surely make you as sure-footed as a doe. He will keep you on His path by laying land markers for you to follow. My land markers were in the form of our study that I had tried to find time to do all week but failed to do due to distraction after distraction. It spoke of this missionary that went into a place of spiritual darkness, and for five years he prayed and prayed without any change. He finally talked to his mom and asked for prayer. 

She found nine women to pray for the cause along side of her. Yup a group of 10 women. Those God bumps washed over me and tears threatened to spill out of my eyes. Okay God. I get it. But I didn't get it. Because as I was reflecting on the 9 women praying along side of that man's mother I volunteered to read the part in Genesis where Abraham intercedes for Sodom and Gomorrah. 

Genesis 19:22-32

The other men turned and headed toward Sodom, but the Lord remained with Abraham. Abraham approached him and said, “Will you sweep away both the righteous and the wicked? Suppose you find fifty righteous people living there in the city—will you still sweep it away and not spare it for their sakes? Surely you wouldn’t do such a thing, destroying the righteous along with the wicked. Why, you would be treating the righteous and the wicked exactly the same! Surely you wouldn’t do that! Should not the Judge of all the earth do what is right?” 

And the Lord replied, “If I find fifty righteous people in Sodom, I will spare the entire city for their sake.” 

Then Abraham spoke again. “Since I have begun, let me speak further to my Lord, even though I am but dust and ashes. Suppose there are only forty-five righteous people rather than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five?” 

And the Lord said, “I will not destroy it if I find forty-five righteous people there.” 

Then Abraham pressed his request further. “Suppose there are only forty?” 

And the Lord replied, “I will not destroy it for the sake of the forty.” 

“Please don’t be angry, my Lord,” Abraham pleaded. “Let me speak—suppose only thirty righteous people are found?” 

And the Lord replied, “I will not destroy it if I find thirty.” 

 Then Abraham said, “Since I have dared to speak to the Lord, let me continue—suppose there are only twenty?” 

And the Lord replied, “Then I will not destroy it for the sake of the twenty.” 

Finally, Abraham said, “Lord, please don’t be angry with me if I speak one more time. Suppose only ten are found there?” 

And the Lord replied, “Then I will not destroy it for the sake of the ten.”

I missed that last part. Ten. Until Sue pointed it out when I found the courage to let my emotions bubble out of what I felt that God was calling me to. God had actually been calling me to do something. I still feel like, no no me. Are you sure? I mean I have shared my heart with this to a handful of women now and I haven't gotten a huge response. I don't want want people to join just because, I want the ones you have planned to join me...to join me. Yet, my heart questions okay what am I approaching about this wrongly? Can't you just bring the women to me? How many more do I have to share this crazy vision with before women step up and say, "Me."

I just had this reminder of the verse where God is wondering who he should send. Upon looking it up it is Isaiah 6:8

Then I heard the Lord asking, "Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?" I said, "Here I am. Send me." 

I am praying God will fill up the rest of the women that are supposed to come along side of me like ants coming out of an ant hill. That they too will have been feeling this call to pray and be willing to respond like Isaiah saying, "Here I am Lord. Send me." Even if it is like a meek child raising their hand in school, almost hoping that the teacher won't call on them.

I am certain that is what has brought me to this point, in case you are curious. I remember praying for God to use me. Is this how he is going to use me? I feel like I could throw up almost at the way that God is truly showing himself to me. Does that even make sense? Sorry for being my journal tonight. Here I am an open book. I am not perfect. I question too often, think too much. But I am called.

I am called. I am really shaking my head. I don't get it. Yet at the same time my soul cries out, use me Lord. Choose me. Guide my thoughts, prayers, and actions. Bring me to those that need to see your reflection in my life. Help me to be recklessly brave and audacious and honoring in my prayers. Help me to intentionally plant little mustard seeds of faith throughout this world that even Satan knows He is not capable of stopping the spread of your goodness even into the places where He has always had a stronghold. You are God and you are mighty, none is greater than you. It's time as Christians we start believing that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.

If you have questions about the prayer group I am planning (and hoping and counting on God) to have started before the beginning of May. Please do not feel afraid to call, text, email, or Facebook. If I don't respond, ask again. And again. And again. Pray about it. Listen to the small call if you think Jesus might be asking, "Who am I going to send to pray?" Be brave enough to step into that empty space and say, "Here I am Lord. Send me." It might feel scary, but remember God has Armor ready for us to put on at a second's notice. He is always present and aware. We don't have to worry about Him sleeping on the job. And the best thing of all of it...Victory has already been won. Death has lost it's sting. We are just gathering together in pray so that more may truly see the goodness of God's glory for themselves.