Yesterday's Ultrasound & Thoughts

Well yesterday I had my 27 week ultrasound. It is truly amazing to see our little one as he gets bigger and bigger. Such a huge blessing! From beginning of second trimester up until this point the ultrasounds have been every other week, but I have a four week break. During these four weeks I am praying for little (or no) anxiety about the baby, and lots of fetal movement so I know all is well!

I cannot help but feel like we are in the final stretch of this pregnancy. I am trying to relish in every little moment. Remember what the flutters, kicks, rolls, and hiccups have felt like. Remembering what it was like to realize, "I think I'm pregnant", to the point where I realized, "This could be our take home baby, finally!" And to now where I am still sitting on the edge teetering, hoping and believing that even as delicate as this small life inside of me is, that God will pull through on this blessing and allow us to have a son. Here on Earth, and not another in heaven.

Some days my faith is SO strong and I believe that he will make it to full term, believing that we have no worries for him to be here until December hits.

Other days, I think what it would be like to have a baby staying in the NICU while returning home empty handed. Or worse. But I do not let my mind dwell on these thoughts for long, because I know our God is not a God of fear. And it is to Him that I look for strength and hope.

These next four weeks without a glimpse into my baby's world are going to be pretty jam packed I have a feeling. There is SO much that I want to get done around the house. From making things better organized, to keeping a cleaner house (this is truly a struggle for me), to finishing our little one's nursery, having a weekend away with James, getting outfits around for maternity pictures, my work baby shower, a baby shower for friends (the family shower will be after my next ultrasound!), and getting the house ready for winter.

Because after these four weeks, anything can truly happen! At my next ultrasound I will be 31 weeks, they will be checking on the baby's growth and most likely checking for amniotic fluid levels. At 32 weeks my weekly appointments filled with an hour NST and ultrasounds to check fluid levels start. At 35 weeks, another growth ultrasound. And again at 39 weeks. Mixed in with the long appointments of NST, Ultrasound, and checkups with my doctors.

It is going to be a whirlwind! I hope I am up for all of the craziness of school, work, doctor's appointments, holidays, and life in general. If I start to lose it, kindly remind me that we have been waiting two years to hold our own little baby and that all of this will melt away as soon as he is placed in my arms. I am SO looking forward to that blessed moment, the moment that I have prayed for, longed for, and hoped would one day happen.

On to my ultrasound appointment, other than the doctor's office being rather slow this time, everything went well! James was actually able to come with me this time around, and most likely able to come for my next one. I love seeing him look at our son and say things like, "He really is getting bigger!" He is going to be a great dad, and I cannot wait to see him in action.

When we got into the room for the ultrasound, they started over my abdomen. The ultrasound tech allowed us to enjoy watching our little guy move about before she started doing the measurements. First she measured the abdomen, then moved onto the femur. She took some shots of his profile, the placenta, and measured his heart beat (it was 140 this time). I loved watching him blink his eyes, and at one point we are unsure if he was sucking his finger, but it looked like he was saying "Shhhhhh!" I don't think he was too happy with the fact that he was so content head down, again right in my pelvis, and we were trying to get him to move up enough so she could measure his head. The tech had me rock side to side, I even tried poking him, but he was content and stubbornly refused to move (which is okay with me, head down means higher chance of not needing a C-Section!).

Next she moved on to the transvaginal portion to see about measuring his head and my cervix. I know this may be horrid, but I call it the dildo cam...because that really is what it is comparable to in my opinion. I am definitely not disappointed that this is my last meeting with this wand. My cervix is still measuring super long at 4.6cm. Definitely thinking I may need to start walking so it can begin to shorten as the baby gets bigger. At the end she did all the calculations, the amniotic fluid level was perfect, and our little guy is estimated to weigh 2lbs 5oz. I know that growth ultrasounds can be off by a pound (or more the further along you are, and it also depends on the skill level & accuracy of the ultrasound tech), but if this is his true weight that means in 12 days he gained 1 lb, 1 oz. That is CRAZY!

When talking to the doctor he explained why the increase in watching the baby after 32 weeks. Being that I am a high risk pregnancy (unicornuate uterus -UU-, controlled hypertension, and a clotting disorder) at 32 weeks they could intervene if necessary and deliver the baby with a greater chance that he would survive. The amniotic fluid level checks are due to my UU because of the higher chances of loss in the third trimester. It also gives them a chance to look at my placenta, because due to hypertension, after 32 weeks the placenta can go "haywire" he said. Basically, this means how efficiently the placenta is giving oxygen and nutrients to the growing baby that needs more and more could start to fail to meet the baby's needs and at that point it would be safer for the baby to be out breathing in oxygen instead of in and breathing amniotic fluid. My hypertension is well controlled, and though I am at a higher risk for preclamsia due to both PCOS and hypertension, I really do not forsee it being an issue (praying against it!).

Oh, and we also met with another doctor I hadn't met yet. I think that I have two or three more to meet before I can say I have met everyone in the office. The great thing is, there is only one that I still do not like! My next ultrasound appointment is with another doctor I haven't met yet, and then I will probably try to get in to see my main doctor for the following week.

It is crazy to think that in another week I will be out of the second trimester and into the third. This pregnancy is going by faster and faster the further along I get. Discomforts and all, James and I are so incredibly blessed to be this far and so thankful that our little guy is doing well!

It was truly amazing to see the detail of his nose and lips at the appointment!
 

 

We both really believe this is a smile that he is showing off here,
like haha, try to get me to move. I'll show you!
Watching the eyes blink was amazing on 2D,
I am supposed to be going to LCC for a free 3D ultrasound at some point,
and cannot wait to see this little guy's features that way!

Oh and I also realized, I never updated with last weeks bump photo in a post...so here it is! Look for this weeks in a post later today or tomorrow! And if you didn't know there is a link to another page at the top of my blog labeled "Baby Hillard" that allows you to see both of our growth from the very beginning of the pregnancy. Including all the ultrasound & bump pictures you could dream of! :-)

24w6d Bump Update & a Little More!

Bump Update!

First of all, can you believe it? I am 25 weeks now!! So AMAZING. I am overjoyed and over the moon the happy with all the blessings God has poured out on us with this little man! I am so thankful and reminded of what a blessing I have growing inside of me every time I feel his little kicks and squirms.

Loving the baby bump!!

The progression in such a short time truly amazes me.
You can also tell that little guy moved up some since last appointment. 

Ultrasound Visit!

We got in rather quickly, and it was like he KNEW they were going to try getting his picture again, he pushed his butt right out at the lady as soon as I laid down and lifted up my shirt for the abdominal portion of ultrasound! lol He is still head down but more towards my left hip bone instead of in my pelvis. I hope this is a good thing and he doesn't choose to lay transverse instead of head down eventually. He is still definitely a he, I recognized boy parts before she said anything! His Heartbeat was 150, amniotic fluid level was perfect they said, and my cervix was still an amazing 4.7cm. My doctor today said that I was showing off, because it only needs to be 2.5cm to make them happy at this point. I am glad it is still long and strong because I have a feeling it will shorten quickly when it is time due to the weight of the baby and such (that and I have been praying for it to thin when it is supposed to without any medical intervention! And my prayers for cervix of steel have worked, so why won't this ;-D)

They finally got a profile picture of this little guy. Placenta has now moved more over to my right but still half front/half side. Which would be why I have been feeling more kicks on top middle of belly! When he really gets moving he is punching (or drumming as some would say) above my left pelvis/hip bone, and kicking upper middle belly. Truly amazing! He is getting so BIG!! And I still have 15 weeks to go! 

On a side note, I had a new doctor today Dr. Alsamsam. he was very nice and I would recommend him seeing him at some point if you are at Sparrow OBGYN. I have really tried to see all the doctors there in the practice (there are TEN!) because I would HATE for me to meet a doctor for the first time when delivering our Son. I still need to meet three of the other doctors...but the ones I have met, I liked them all, except one. One I refuse to see due to poor bedside manner when I miscarried the second time, so praying that she isn't the doctor on call when delivery time comes! Feel free to ask more questions if you are thinking about switching doctors :-)

My next ultrasound is on Sept 17th. They will be doing the last cervical length check, and checking the growth of our little guy. I assume they will probably check the amniotic fluid as well since they started it this week. I need to do my gestational diabetes test before then as well. I have already had to do a three hour when I wasn't pregnant...and it wasn't too fun. (Quite boring really) But because of this I know the drink isn't too horrid, more like a super sugary fruit punch. BUT it does make me nervous for the test! They said I don't need to fast, but to avoid sugary things the night before and morning of. Wish me luck!

Labor Day Weekend!

What a wonderful weekend with family! We spent the whole weekend with James's side. Booger & Jess camped at Jay & Deana's while James and I spent the night at our house, and Laura & Jo came down for Saturday. It was nice having everyone together, it would have been even more perfect if Gaugers had been there and Laura & Jo had spent Saturday night! 

Saturday was the day the guys worked on the house to finish up the siding, Deana, Jess & the girls, and I went to the parade in Woodland. We hung out with Jessi's family and it was lots of fun seeing everyone. Later that night James enjoyed himself a drink (or two, or three....you get the picture!) and was definitely feeling pretty good and smiley! lol We sat outside that night til around midnight with Booger, Jess, Laura, and Jo. I love having everyone together. It is for sure a good laugh!

Sunday James was feeling a bit "out of it" but it was another good day with family. Yummy breakfast, delicious dinner (and some yummy homemade ice cream!), and fun times with the girls! James even got brave and offered to hold onto Lynzey, and even got her to fall asleep. (Gasp! If you knew my hubby this is a HUGE surprise. He avoids other people's babies like the plague. He said they are too small, and worries about breaking them. He once rationalized to me, that it will be different with our own because if he breaks it then it will be okay. LOL). I missed the whole thing because I was shopping with Deana, but I hear he was pretty proud of himself! :-)

At one point during the weekend Audrey, sitting on my lap told me, "You can take Lynzey, and I will take (pointing to my belly) that one!" It really gave me a good laugh. Jessi told her that she didn't want a brother, that she only knew how to take care of girls, and that Lynzey was too good of a baby to trade. :-) The crazy things the girls come up with! I truly enjoy every moment that I get to spend with them. We never seem to make the time to get together more often. I am hoping we can make this change after our little guy is here, I want him to grow up and have so many fun memories with his cousins!! Graysi & Audrey are growing up too quickly, and I am sure soon Lynzey will be in the same boat! Kids grow up WAY too fast.

Exercise!

Oiy! We went for a walk Sunday with Jess, Booger, the girls, and our dogs...It was WONDERFUL. But SO hot, it might have been part of how out of shape I am now from lack of exercise since being pregnant...I am SO out of shape now it is ridiculous! I did prenatal yoga today, and intend on working in more walking with Jack on the days that I do not have to work. Because heaven knows I need it (and so does our little chunky dog!).

Tonight I did the Yoga DVD for only 20 minutes and burned 125 calories...doing Yoga....should I reiterate how out of shape I am? It felt good to get the blood circulating! I need to get some of the bloat from crappy eating all weekend out of my system! 

School!

I have quite a bit of homework that I am dreading attacking. Tomorrow between Microbiology lecture and lab I am going to be hitting the books and working on Statistics. I am hoping to get as much of the online classes out of the way early as possible for just in case little guy decides to make an early appearance (I am still hoping that there is a possibility that James could share a birthday with our son! but I would rather not share a birthday with him. November birthdays right near gun season start SUCK, plus that would make him a month early...and I would rather he be full term!). This semester I am tackling 10 credits, plus working part time. On top of this, I am hoping to continue averaging working 8 days a pay period from now until the baby comes. 

I tend to procrastinate (like now), so you may get some updates a little more often from here on out! haha :-)

For real, I haven't done any house work today, and I need to tackle reading for microbiology, along with looking over what we need to do for lab. So I will have to let you go!

23w6d Bump Update

Little man you are one day away from viability!! I did some research and you would be considered a micro preemie, you'd have eyelashes, and eyebrows. But your little eyes would still be fused shut. You'd need help to breath due to premature lung development, and it would be a long journey in the NICU. You'd be about the length of a corn cob, and weigh around a pound and a half (amazing that I am carrying you inside of me and you grew from smaller than a pin head to how big you are now! And some days by how much movement I feel you definitely feel SO much bigger!). One of the factors that impact survival at this age is birth weight, which makes me so happy that you were in the 55th percentile at last appointment, and were guessed to weigh 1lb 4 oz already. They say that babies that weigh more than 2lbs 3 oz do much better than those that weigh less.

BUT the good thing is, God has answered my prayers to have a cervix of steel, and you are safe and sound inside my womb still! I truly believe I do not need to worry about preterm delivery (especially this early) but I love being informed and educated about EVERYTHING it seems. If I don't know something, Google becomes my best friend. I hope you have this same craving for education and learning random facts about random things. I pray you will excel in school, and you will love life and learning something new every day.

On to the bump photos...here they are! I am smiling even though I feel like a hillbilly because my front tooth's bonding that fixed a chip in my left front tooth fell out! It is horrible. And quite embarrassing. You cannot tell in these pictures, but when I laugh or talk, it is not pretty. I am so blessed to have good teeth, minus this one chip. I pray for you that you have strong, healthy, cavity resistant, teeth! Right now it feels so awkward to smile, to eat, and to talk. Not fun! And to top it off, I cannot get into the dentist until Friday, and my first day of class is Thursday!! Seriously, what dentist goes on vacation? :-P

You can tell this is the side little guy sits on
if you look at me facing this way and compare it to me facing the other way

See! Not quite as big looking! lol
But look how long my hair is getting! :-D I LOVE it!

Little man is definitely pushing is little butt out during this picture,
making my belly more pronounced.
I also have been trying to keep up on drinking more water
And eating healthier...weight this week shows it! :-)
Which makes me VERY happy!!

Look how far my belly has come!
about 13 weeks til I am considered full term, 16 weeks til my due date!

Also, I realized I never shared my ultrasound pictures from last ultrasound so here they are:

22w6d - Picture Update & Appointment

I also took a few additional in the outfit I was wearing yesterday. Goodwill and Craigslist finds on the clothing!

Definite bump, don't tell me I don't look pregnant.
Because it means I just look fat.

Wowza to legs, and not to happy with how shorts look on me (but super cheap and have a FULL band which is WONDERFUL)
but look at belly! SO stinking happy overall!

My view from up top.  If you look, you can tell baby sits on the right.

I am going to keep this short and simple as I can (ok I know I am long winded)

My house smells like dog pee, if it isn't one thing it is another. 

Cat pee last week, dog pee this week.

Bring it on! :-)

(Except please no smells that make me physically gag and run to trash/toilet just in case puking actually happens)

My cervix is holding up AMAZING at 4.48cm

Baby is measuring right on track at 23w1d (exact from LMP)

Heartbeat was 143 this time.

Baby weighs about 1lb 4oz

My belly is measuring 25 weeks, but doctor said baby's growth is right on track in 55th percentile, so nothing to worry about.

Baby also hid his face from us, hands up by face and everything. 

Head so far down , even poking and prodding didn't make him move. AT ALL. 

We managed to see his ear, eyes (or black spots rather), nose, and top lip. 

No profile. Again. And as soon as out of u/s room what did baby do?

Kick and move up quite a bit. 

Little stinker.

As per lovely varicose veins,  TMI, so read at own risk....

I work in the medical field and tell it like it is...

I honestly didn't know that varicose veins on your lady parts could be a concern, 

Until I was swollen and sore. Poor James had to confirm because doctor couldn't get me in.

BUT thankfully I learned that I don't look too bad down there, 

Because doctor informed me it could be worse...

She said she has seen it so bad that it looks like a bag of worms.

Yes, on your lady bits. I am sure you get the (disgusting) picture 

(curious? *probably not I know* upon googling about this lovely affliction I read 

people call it cheeseburger crotch...DIS-FRIGGING-SCUSTING).

So I got my script for a lovely contraption that looks like a female jock strap. Joy.

(The V2 Supporter if you are curious)

And she informed me the varicose veins get worse with each subsequent pregnancy.

And that they may not go away after pregnancy but after a few months wont be sore any more.

If this is the case, I am getting surgery I think...because GROSS

God loves me. Can't you tell?! ;-)

*sigh* James is going to need a blind fold to be intimate with me!! 

ok, or maybe I will need him to be blind folded to be comfortable...

( I also realized  spelled varicose wrong in photo above, so photo editing will need to be in order )

Done with TMI talk, I promise

Got the plan of  action for the rest of the pregnancy:

25w - transvaginal u/s to check for cervical length, and regular to check for profile, again

27w - glucose results, transvaginal u/s to check for cervical length, and regular to check for fetal growth

32w - begins weekly non stress test (NST) and ultrasound to check level of amniotic fluid, ALSO monthly fetal growth check

33w-35w - NST & Fluid Check

36 w - NST, Fluid Check, AND Fetal growth check, as well as beginning heparin 2x a day instead of lovenox once a day.

That's it for now, nap time, then quick picking up and vacuuming before my sister gets here to help me clean carpets, and possibly work on nursery some more.

THEN maybe grocery shopping.

Thank goodness for this day off, because my allergies are kicking my booty.

Party Details & Bump Photos

Sorry I have been SO busy lately, lots has been going on. I had that week where I was having some major braxton hicks at work. Topped with my cervix shortening a tad...but then lengthening back up to an amazing 5.1 when I went in to make sure it wasn't shortening more with the braxton hicks (which by the way the doctor said it was good for keeping baby in, but I needed to remember to pray for it to shorten in due time as well). The doctor also gave me hope for a natural pregnancy. She said the women that she has worked with with unicornuate uterus (UU), their babies were breach at 19 weeks and ended up having c-sections due to this. Currently our little one is head down and SO low.

How low? SO low that they cannnot get a good picture of the head or profile. How crazy is that? And that is even with a transvaginal ultrasound. I did get the update at our anatomy scan that they will be doing ultrasounds at every  appointment to watch for cervical length AND growth of the baby. There can be issues with fetal growth in women with UU. I kind of wish the doctors would get on the same page on this one, some have told me no more u/s at 24 weeks, one other said 28, and this last one said every time. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens. Regardless, I am not really complaining about all the extra peeks into our baby's world. Even if it is because we are considered high risk. I am currently 21w1d and a little less than 3 weeks from viability!! Which is a pretty big sigh of relief.

At the anatomy scan, we had the ultrasound tech turn the screen when looking for baby's gender. And had her write it in an envelope, and put a picture of the gender in a manilla envelope. Baby was measuring 3 days ahead of date set from first ultrasound, which had me due at 12/19. But they kept my due date according to last period, making me due 12/17. So baby is growing ahead of both! Baby was measuring 11oz (which was ahead of schedule of "normal" as well), head down, and feeling quite lazy after being busy that morning from the caffeine I had drank. My sisters Missy and Stacey were with James and me at the appointment, and were quite excited to see the baby. 

We got these cute little pictures....

And most importantly this is envelope that will help us know what the baby is going to be...

The gender reveal is August 11th, this Saturday!! Only 2 days away!! Current guest list for party is at 37 people. With an additional possible 8 or so more people coming. 

I ordered the half a sheet cake today, it serves 48. I am contemplating adding on a dozen cupcakes as well. The sheet cake is going to be marble with colored butter cream frosting in middle, covered in whipped cream frosting. Decorated in pink and blue polka dots and question marks. Still working on the wording for it...
And if I order cupcakes they will be chocolate, with chocolate frosting. With colored cream filling. (Doesn't that sound DELICIOUS!!) 

Anyways...here are the bump photos! I will give you the comparisons :-)

I also wanted to share my amazing idea (ok kind of stolen a little bit from pinterest) for our gender party.

I am purchasing a book, and I am going to have guests sign the front inside cover, with room on the back page as well. On the back cover I am going to write the baby a letter about my feelings that morning and the journey thus far.

Here is the book I purchased... 

You can purchase the book HERE

And if you go to above link you can also look at a few of the inside pages of the book.

It brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. I can remember first reading it. I was post second miscarriage, working at the day care. And a little kid asked me to read it to them. Holding back tears I choked out the beginning of the story....

"Good night, sweet child," Mama said as she tucked Little Cub in.
But Little Cub wasn't quite ready to go to sleep.
"Mama, where did I come from?" she asked.
"From God," her mother answered. "Your papa and I were alone, and we wanted a baby."
"And you got me?" Little Cub asked, her voice muffled by the covers.
"Yes, my special child. God gave us you."

Does that not rip at your heart strings? Because it certainly does mine.

Because it is the truth.

 Loss after Loss God gave us the experience with THIS special child to be ours to love. 

To feel the little kicks, to watch my belly grow, to know that there is life inside of me growing healthy and strong.

If you are going through the dark road of infertility still, I wish God will fill your heart with joy as much as he has mine. And that one day, all of us will have little ones snuggled in our laps that we can read this book to, and know that it holds more meaning to us than other woman may ever know.

Because the road to a baby isn't always easy. It isn't always carefree.

Babies don't always come by accident. 

Some of us have to try. And pray. And beg God to answer our prayers.

Some of us have to endure loss after loss.

Some of us spend gobs of money for the hope of having a little one of our own.

Some of us have our faith  and relationships stretched to their limits in the journey of waiting for a baby.

We learn storks aren't real. It isn't in the water. And relaxing doesn't always help.

To those of you still on this path, I pray hope stays in your heart. That you are able to lean on God.

And that those of us that know your pain and suffering do not forget and in turn hurt you.

I am beyond excited to one day read this book to our child, to know if we are having a daughter or a son, and enjoy some delicious cake on Saturday!! :-) For now I need to get cleaning last minute stuff for our party. Busy, busy day!

♥ 

Pregnancy Bump Photos

I thought I would post all of the comparison ones I have thus far...it truly is amazing to see your body change.

Soon I may start weekly updates on the pregnancy. I have been quite lax on posting lately and hope to get better at it.

I can feel my belly every day, but pending what I wear, and if I am fully focused on tightening my core...it isn't always so obvious. It is those days it makes me feel f-a-t and not pregnant. Especially when people stare at me in scrubs or in clothes that don't show my belly as much and say things like, "soon you will pop" 

Which, I am not going to lie makes me want my belly to be fully big and round. But I can say, it already is getting in the way at times. And those moments bring a smile in my heart. Even if it is an inconvenience at times.

1 more week til our anatomy scan.
2 more weeks to half way through this pregnancy!
4 weeks until we have our gender reveal party!
6 more weeks til viability!!!! <<<Which will be SUCH a huge milestone!!
22 more weeks until this little one's due date....ahhh!

P.S. I am now 18w2d :-) Unbelievable!