We All Fall Short

We all fail. We all fall down. We all fall short, desperately short, from deserving God's mercy and blessings.

But that is the great thing about our God. He sent His son Jesus to bridge that gap. Allowed Him to die on the cross to make up for where we are weak. Where the sin is blackening our lives. Even though we don't deserve it, God's love and mercy is there waiting for us to acknowledge it.

As Christian's, especially young christians, you tend to believe following Christ is all rainbows and butterflies. Love, mercy, and blessings. God is love, afterall. Then life happens. A muffler falls off your car. Or you fail a class. Or maybe you simply have a really cruddy day. And you feel the Son's light shining a little less. You face miscarriage after miscarriage, and bitterness creaps into your heart. As you wonder why us? Why me God? Can't ONE thing in my life go EASY for ONCE?!

Then there is Job.

He lost his children. His herds and flocks. And His wife doesn't stand behind him. His health falters. But never his faith. Never once does he curse God. Not once does he lose his sight on God.

I got told one day by a dear friend that in the midst of the craziness of our infertility I was like a female version of Job. And while I wish I could own that, it hasn't been true. Because I did question my faith. I was so bitter. Angry. I fell short.

The same week I got told by another friend that I was one that life couldn't ruin. And it made me cry. Because some times I do feel so flawed. So broken. But also I feel blessed to be the woman God has helped shape me to be. So thankful that during my childhood he was there even before I knew him. That he protected me when I denied his existance.

Because friends...I can tell you in my life just as God was there protecting me I have no doubt that Satan's armys were right there trying to deconstruct the foundations of what Christ had built in me.

I hear songs like "Beauty from Pain" by Barlow Girl, or "Waiting Room" by Johny Dias, or "Waiting Here for You" and it brings me back to the pain I felt as I poured my heart out to God during the midst of our loses. And it reminds me of not only how short I truly fall most of the times. But also how blessed we are to go through those struggles. That God saw us fit enough to wade through those dark times and know that we would still choose him.

I bought a book by Roy Lessin on my walk to Emmaus, titled Today is Your Best Day. I love this quote.

"You may be going through a very difficult time today, but that does not mean this is your worst day. God will use the difficulty to produce precious things within you that you will treasure in days to come. There may be pressures in your day, but God uses pressure to form diamonds. There may be a fiery trial in your day, but God uses fire to purify gold. There may an irritant in your day, but God uses irritants to create pearls. If you are in need of comfort today, God will bring His comfort to you, and the comfort you receive will help you comfort someone tomorrow."

The pressures in our lives created a diamond, his name is Matthew.
The fiery trials in our lives created a purification, of our hearts towards God and each other.
The irritants in our lives created pearls, called true intimacy.
The comforts we have received from God, have been used already to comfort others. As I am sure they will continue.

And we are so blessed. Not by this world's standards. But by God's. And we all know this world falls desperately short of the glory of God.

Blessings in this Life.

Where to start? My last post was in April. Oiy! Slacker lady, I know!

School is going surprisingly well, and I can promise you that is all God because I haven't put in as much work as I know I should be, but I use a little common sense with the knowledge from class and have been doing well thus far. I think it is because the medical field is where I truly belong.

James is dreaming big dreams when it comes to his career choices, that I am excited to one day come to fruition. Dreams that would (and will) seem crazy to many people.

Matthew is now 7 months old. He weighs a whopping 25lbs 12.5oz, and is somewhere around 27 inches tall. He said "Mama" the other night, while looking at James (not me, unfair) but when I said Mama to him again he repeated it. So adorable. He has started rocking on his hands and knees and loves standing up to play. He is quite clingy, and a total cuddle bug. He still isn't sleeping through the night. But his smile could melt the coldest heart, and his giggle could turn a grey sky blue. He is worth every hard moment we had to endure to get to him, and every hard moment since he entered our lives.

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;

 perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, 

because God has poured out His love into our hearts."

Romans 5:3-5 NIV

James and I had decided during our pregnancy with Matthew that we weren't going to actively prevent or try to conceive after Matthew entered our lives. We were going to leave it completely up to God. Because all the trying in the world didn't make the 2 years easier, or the 5 loses hurt more or less. Call us crazy, but we both would like to have four children. A big family. We have big hopes for my half of uterus and single fallopian tube. 

My cycles hadn't even returned postpartum when on father's day I decided to do my random once a month test. I walked away and assumed it to be negative. Until much later when I saw a dark positive starting up at me. I think I almost puked. haha. I am ashamed to admit I wasn't exactly super excited. James on the other hand? You should have seen the smile on his face! 

And while you probably are aware from facebook, now two and a half weeks later we are in the midst of loss #6, this time an ectopic pregnancy. If anything this has made me realize how much I truly do want Matthew to be a big brother to a sibling here on earth. Instead of a little brother to babies in heaven, and a big brother to this little baby in heaven. It has also brought me close to God again. I hate to say it this way, but this loss has been a blessing to my heart. Because God is what is most important and I had allowed myself to drift away from him. Silly woman, I know.

People often say to me, "You had such a hard time, aren't you done with one?" The answer? Nope. Matthew is worth every heartache, every tear, every aching moment in my heart and soul as we mourned the loss of a baby after another baby. We have hope. And now, we have Matthew which has made this loss much easier than the others in the past. Because we now know what it is like to finally reach the other side of the rainbow. What it is like to finally snuggle your baby, and be seen as a Mommy and Daddy. And all I can do some days is look at him and thank God for this experience. AND squeeze him tight and not want to let him go.

"There is surely a future hope for you,

and your hope will not be cut off."

Proverbs 23:18

With taking methotrexate to help this pregnancy "resolve" for lack of better words (oh boy when the sadness hit, I truly did cry to the thought of taking a medication, again, to help my body get rid of a baby) it caused me to stop nursing for 3 long days, and the 4th day I did pump and dump after nursing him throughout the night. It also has me not taking folic acid or prenatals until my hcg reaches 0. AND comes with instructions to prevent for 1-2 cycles afterwards. Prevent? We haven't prevented since that first year we were married. It is going to be quite interesting. 

But we haven't lost hope! Doubt still whispers into my ear at times, "What if you have to go through five losses again before a baby makes your family turn into a family of 4?" "What if this ectopic has closed your fallopian tube?" "What if...." "What if..." But guess what, I have a BIG God. And he worked a miracle in Matthew and he can do it again, and again, and again....how ever many times he chooses. And those thoughts quiet down those thoughts.

"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are --

no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners

of everything that can't be bought."

Matthew 5:5 The Message

If God chooses to not bless us with another healthy pregnancy, we will be okay. Because we know that God plans for us to go through the process of adoption too. And we look forward to the point in our lives that we are actively going towards that goal as well. Bring on a different set of challenges, different set of heartaches, and a whole 'nother set of blessings that come along with it all.

We are so incredibly blessed.

And so thankful that for the journey that God has created just for us to walk.

Curveballs

Life has tossed us so many curveballs. It leaves you thinking one thing is coming your way only to be blind sighted and have life either zip by you leaving you feeling like you spun too fast trying to catch it, or you get hit, hard, right in the heart.

This past Easter left me thinking so deeply of Jesus's love for us, and how amazing it is that all of the sins I have made, am making, and will make were washed clean by him on that cross through forgiveness. He rose from the dead! How amazing that would have been to be there then. I often wonder what person I would have been back in that time. Would I have denounced Jesus? Been the Martha or the Mary? Or betrayed him for  money? Or better yet been the one to walk on water with him?

But I'm not one of those biblical characters, instead I am me. And what a beautiful mess I am. A mess that God manages to pick up some of the clutter and make me a new creation, and sometimes I get to realize that He is moving in our lives. Feeling his precense and touch on things. That undenyable feeling that God's hand is behind what you are working on. That he is shaping your story special. Like making pottery on a spinner's wheel paying special attention to all of the small details so the finished product will be beautifully made and perfect it it's own way.

Easter also left me thinking about how mother's day is right around the corner. Which left me thinking about our babies. Babies I feel we haven't given justice and enough recognition. It hurts my heart. I think of them so often, especially when looking at Matthew. I wonder what they would have looked like. I think about how he is a little brother, and almost buy him shirts that say such things. Because he will know that he is the youngest at the moment, but will one day be the oldest here on earth. He will know that getting to heaven means so much to us, not only because of Jesus's redeeming love that allows us to meet God, but also because we look forward to meeting the babies the world has forgotten.

I never realized how angry James had gotten with God. I knew how angry I had been with God, how bitterness has encaptured my every waking thought and turned my heart cold and hard against God. Infertility. Loss. Unceasing hope that turned to what felt like empty prayers and broken dreams. Five losses my friends. Five babies in heaven. And I loved every single one of them with as much of my heart that I could have given and still left it beating within my chest. Every time a loss happened it felt as if my heart had been ripped out. The grief was immense. I had prayed and named two of our babies. Abigail. Sam. But the others are waiting nameless in heaven, nameless and faceless to us.

That bitterness has been a doozy to walk through, I picture God trying to carry me through it and instead I thrashed at Him, calling Him names, and doing my best to just be alone and cry and bemoan all that God had NOT given us. It is only recently, since having Matthew, and working through some marital struggles that I have been able to allow the bitterness to begin melting away fully. To feel as if I am walking once more with the Lord. To feel his precense in my life. To feel joy in my heart. And a spring in my step.

I was asked recently if all the struggle it took to get Matthew meant that we were going to shoot for one and done. My friends, the answer is no. That bitterness that drove us away from God, we have learned from it. The joy that Matthew has placed in our hearts, is unreplaceable. The sadness was worth the reward in the end. We still hope and pray that God would bless us, in His time. We would be thrilled with whenever it happens. And while one day we may embark upon another long journey, it will be different this time around. Because WE are different.

People may call us crazy. They may not get it. But there is a joy that has now risen in our hearts after years of bitterness creeping into spaces we never knew existed. There is a new found appreciation for one another. And healing going on where we never realized healing needed to be. We are following our dreams. Dreams that God has dreamed in us. Dreams that may seem crazy to other people.

Dreams of gardening for a living. Of having a house full of children. Of being a labor and delivery nurse. Dreams of being the light in this dark world. Of leading families to Christ. Dreams that only God could dream in us.

"Who, but You, would ever choose to dream Your dream in me?
Tell me who, but You, would dare me to believe what I can't see
Who, but You?"
(Who But You from The Story. Sang by Mark Hall and Megan Garret)

Who but you, God? Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to follow you. For placing dreams upon our heart that only you can fulfill. For bringing us closer together, and thus closer to you Lord. You are an amazing, mighty God. And my heart overflows with joy and thankfulness.

Facebook Free

It has now been 72 hours without facebook. And for a habitual user like myself, I can say it is quite freeing! It has made me realize how often I would check it! It truly was an addiction.

It really was a time suck. And while it is nice to see photos of what is going on in other people's lives, or how children are growing up so stinking fast. It really can be detrimental too at times.

To school work for example! Or to making time for communication between husband and wife. And I even think how friendships are now from the switch from phone calls to text messages (I am SO guilty of this one...so look in the future for text free *or technology free!* tuesdays or maybe even a weekend! Or a week!!) to just using facebook as a means for communication. What a sad switch that is occurring in society!

Facebook will at least remain off my phone and be far from my mind for the next month at the very least. And maybe even for the rest of the semester. Or the rest of nursing school. Maybe Saturdays will become my day I can quick check it. Or maybe I wont. Hopefully people see I posted my number and use it as a way to communicate with me. Because honestly, this chica could crawl under the proverbial rock when it comes to technology and I would be A-Ok as long as my husband and son were there with me, and maybe a few friends would be willing to pop on by!

Jessica

Openness

Being a new mom is hard. It is a balancing act. Scratch that a juggling act. With our son being so needy/colicky I had a VERY hard time with work, mostly because Matthew would scream for hours on end for James and it made me feel so guilty.

But honestly, going to work was my break! I felt bad, but I kind of enjoyed the fact that James was suffering at home like I did so many nights allowing him to sleep so he could feel rested for work. Evil, I know. I am not one meant to be a stay at home mom all the time every day. Being a mom is really a thankless job quite often.

With as bad as Matthew would scream and cry, always on the nights I needed and wanted sleep the most, it made me question...why did I want this in the first place? Do we really want to go through all that heartache it took to get to him to try to achieve a sibling for Matthew in the future? Then those smiles win my heart over all over again. And remind me of why I wanted to be a mother.

The juggling act isnt just juggling baby and work. Add in the stress a new baby adds to a marriage and school. You have a scene from The Cat in the Hat. It leaves you wondering which part is going to fall and be in disrepair when the inevitable halt of the balancing act occurs.

First, I want to clarify and make clear, James is a wonderful husband and father, but he is also a man. He doesn't have that mother's touch when it comes to our son. He is working 50 hours a week right now and is exhausted. But with both of us feeling exhausted and a child that would only give me rest if he slept on my chest, and the unwillingness to risk his safety by sleeping in bed with him...utter lack of communication happened.

It drove a huge wedge between us that we are now working on so desperately hard to repair. Years of pain, past sins, and questioning that has set down deep in our souls from both sets of parents divorcing came bubbling up to the surface.

Add to that the questioning if you are a good mother, and the plunge your self-esteem takes due to body image issues postpartum, mixed in with hormones...you can imagine what my husband is dealing with at the moment. Along with now having our son in bed with us for most of the night so we are able to sleep next to each other.

So if anyone is reading I am just asking for you to pray for a fully repair relationship with one another, for us to dive deep into an intimate space with Christ, and for my son to soon sleep through the night, or at least 3-4 hour stretches in either the pack and play or his crib. As well as for the knowledge I learned last year in nursing school to still be assessable in my mind because time for studying in minute, because to be honest...my marriage and family are more important.

Tired Busy Bee

Life has continued, and I assure you it feels like it is at the speed of light.

Matthew is now almost 3 months old. He is 12 weeks. TWELVE, what? How did that happen? Some of his 0-3 clothes are getting too tight, along with his size 1 diapers.

He doesn't sleep well so in 3 months I haven't slept in my bed at night except for a few failed attempts. I am hoping to venture back that way soon. It started out he couldn't sleep on his back due to reflux and me feeling too anxious about putting him on his tummy, and now he loves listening to your heartbeat as he sleeps. Need to break the habit soon, but for now it is allowing me 3-4 hour stretches versus the 2 he does by himself normally (though left in the swing, with it on yesterday night he slept FOUR hours. I almost had a heart attack!).

He is such a cute chunky little boy, this mommy's milk does a little boy good :-) We are talking he has went from 6lbs 3.5oz, 20 inches long to 14lbs, 25 inches long in a little over 2 months. I will weigh him here at home when he turns 3 months, and attempt to measure his length. But I can tell you, he is growing like a weed.

Our house...is a unorganized disaster. It is hard work trying to keep a house clean while nursing an infant.

Speaking of nursing, after six weeks of exclusively pumping I was able to tell the pump we needed to slow it down and take a little bit of a break....because Matthew latched on and now prefers mommy to a bottle, and even thinks I am an all day buffett or a human pacy at times. Not having to wash bottles and pump equipment as often is WONDERFUL. I am even one of those nursing in public sorts now because it is just so much easier. Breastfeeding is kind of empowering, to know that my son survives off from ME is amazing. I try to pump once a day for our freezer supply, and some days I have to pump more often. Like the day I pumped 8oz in 10 minutes, then he ate, and THEN could have pumped more if I truly wanted to. I am so thankful for the ability to breastfeed and avoid the costs of formula thus far. I am hoping to feed him my milk until he is a year.

I started work back up around 9 weeks postpartum, and now at 12 weeks pp I am going to be starting up school. I am excited for it! I am excited to be back with the amazing friends I met this time last year. Trisha truly cracks me up, she says the darndest things that make me laugh. And Christina lives in Charlotte so it will be easy to study w/o going up to the school if we need to.

Can I be honest with you? I shouldn't have failed 145 the first time around...so this time I am banking on it being a piece of cake. This girl is shooting for a high B at the lowest. Especially since the exams have to be the same, and 145's test got written last year. And this girl is pretty good at remembering test questions, so the 50% off they gave me for NOT looking at those stupid papers, is going to pan out to be in my favor because I will be taking tests I have seen before....*rolls eyes* it still irks me that I am repeating this class due to being honest.

Then I look at Matthew and remind myself God had a plan. And life wouldn't be the same without him.

More soon.
Because as most should be aware once in school writing becomes a form or procrastination ;-) bahaha and Matthew is now getting old enough that he enjoys a little longer time periods by himself at times.

Sleep calls. It has been a long night for us. <3

Birth Story - Part 2!

To start with, how about a recap?

• Find out AFI = 4.1 (aka amniotic fluid is low!), induction is recommended. Currently 50% effaced and 0 dilation (darn that cervix of steel I prayed for!!)
• Arrive at Labor and Delivery - to get told we are full, please go have dinner and come back.
• FIVE rounds of oral cytotec - finally 2cm dilated, but still 50% effaced. Just as a timeline, each round of cytotec took four hours, two of which I had to lay in bed hooked to monitors, one hour I could eat something light, and another hour we could walk around. Made it this far with two extra strength tylenol. Contractions 2-3 minutes apart consistently.
• Pitocin is started - was on it for at least five hours, laying in those uncomfortable labor beds, hooked up to blood pressure cuff, penicillin drip, plus the contraction and baby monitors. Dilation finally up to 2.5cm with same effacement. Discouragement. Tears. Contractions are now 7 in 10 minutes. Pitocin is turned off. At this point we are over 24 hours in to the induction. Send James home to sleep because obviously it is going to be awhile still.
• Take a small break to shower, walk around, eat, and then Cervidil inserted. After 12 hours, I am checked again. No change, just irritated cervix. Joy.
• Decide to try cytotec again. SIXTH Cytotec...oral due to cervix irritation. No change. Surprise, surprise.
• SEVENTH cytotec - vaginal. Spread out to every 6 hours for dosing due to different doctor. no further dilation but getting "mushier" they didn't tell me how effaced I was.
• EIGHTH cytotec - vaginal. Right around 3cm!! YAY! 
• Doctor decides it is time to break water, learn I didn't have low AFI (I gushed!).
• Pitocin is started again. Officially in what I would consider active labor. Back labor too. Not so fun.

Back labor was intense, and with monitors I was forced to pretty much lay flat on back because it was the only spot Matthew would cooperate and allow them to have him hooked up. When the doctor broke my water they took off the contraction monitor belt, and inserted the vaginal contraction monitor. By the time I finally talked them into letting me try sitting on the side of the bed so I could have my back rubbed for the back contractions...my cervix was SO sore from the monitor being up there. Back ached from labor (and laying in that horrid bed for over 60 hours at this point), cervix too sore to sit up, feeling miserable.

I caved. This woman that was shooting for completely natural, no pain medications...caved. The back labor, lack of sleep, uncomfortable bed, all made for one grumpy painful Jessica. I asked for an epidural.

Which took three tries to get it inserted into the correct place in my back. THREE. Breathing through contractions hunched over, getting SO angry and frustrated at the process of trying to place the epidural. Before epidural I was not making any change, still hanging tight at 3cm. Moments after epidural and getting cathed (which btw, I had avoided getting up to restroom because of how much pain I was in sadly...they got almost a full bag of urine out of my bladder. Insert jokes about having a nurses bladder already. At least it gave me something to laugh about!!), I was a FOUR!!! WOOHOO!!

Nurse informs me that it usually takes about an hour per cm for first time moms from this point forward. So we figure we have about six hours. Two hours later, after a nap, they check me again and find out I am SIX cm!! WOOHOO!! Baby is trying to come down the canal with head tipped so Dr. P has me roll over on my left side to persuade him to move some. James is getting stir crazy, so he heads over to rite aide to get us toothbrushes and a couple razors. He comes back about 45 minutes later to find me feeling like the baby is coming. Rolling on my side must have helped him engage more! I am experiencing so much pressure I ask James if he will look and see if he can see the baby. His response? "I'm not a *#@$ing doctor." Both of us are on the edge from the induction process and ready for baby Matthew to be here. 

We call the nurse, and of course my nurse is busy! I tell the nurse that answered call light that I am experiencing some intense pressure. She asks if I am feeling it more in my bottom or towards the front. At this point it was towards my bottoms, so she informs me I have a little while still. FINALLY my nurse comes in. She has me roll on my back and agrees to check me. She is rather surprised and says, "We are having a baby! Let me go tell Dr. P." 

The nurse, Christie, has James grab my left leg. And looks at Missy and says, "Hey sis, grab the right leg!" The pushing begins. It was this crazy feeling, exactly what you hear from people that you just KNOW you need to push. I am pushing and feeling like the baby is going to be here so soon, and my doctor still is no where to be seen. Christie is applying the lube and stretching me, when I finally ask, "WHEN IS DR. P GOING TO BE HERE!?!" Her response? "Soon, I am doing what she normally does!"

I am grunting some at this point, and feel like I am being ridiculously loud. So much that I apologize  and everyone laughs and asks me if I have been hearing the other women on the hall! The screams you hear are quite ridiculous at times let me tell you. I remember thinking if the woman put more effort into pushing and less into screaming maybe their baby would be there sooner. LOL And I have to say I still think that to this day!

Dr P finally comes in, looks at me, and stunned says, "Wow! We're going to have a baby! How long has she been pushing?"

"10 minutes."

"Woah! I thought I had time, went to my office, got my pen to sign the birth certificate...." Everyone laughs, except me. Dr P tries telling me to breath through this next contraction. 

I try, I really do, but my body is unrelenting. I manage to say, "I can't my body is pushing on it's own! I need to push!" 

Christie and Dr. P keep telling me I am doing great, especially for a first time mom. Each contraction I get a good three pushes in. And I tell you, I felt like a warrior (minus the epidural that I caved and got haha!). I even got to reach down and feel his head. It was AMAZING!! The monitor keeps losing his heart rate, and I can sense the concern from my doctor. So they do the heart rate monitor on baby that screws into his head with a small needle (SO glad I didn't know this at the time, all I knew was it was internal and could get the one off from my belly!).

At one point I yell (or rather it felt like yelling to me), "I want him OUT!" The nurse and the doctor laugh and again reiterate how wonderful I am doing, and Christie even adds that I am going to beat the woman next door that has been pushing for 2 hours already, with what I believe she said was her second child! 

Finally I am asked how I feel about a small cut, not an episiotomy, just a small cut to help give direction to the tear that is inevitably going to happen. I had been SO against getting cut, but at this point I say yes. She does a small little cut and one more push and little buddy's head is out! SUCH a relief. 

A friend once described the body coming out as kind of like the feeling of a fish flopping out of you, and I definitely have to agree!! One more push and out came our little man! And the shock and disbelief of seeing him. It was love at first sight, I couldn't believe he was finally here. I couldn't believe that he came out of me. 

He cries for the first 30 seconds and then is just alert and looking around. Immediately he is placed on my chest, and James gets to cut the umbilical cord (which James said was like cutting leather!). They take Matthew and clean him up, he isn't turning pink like they want him to, but his pulse ox is 100% with the oxygen on his face. So they continue with foot and hand prints. Then take him over to get weighed. Our little man is officially here weighing 6lbs 3.5oz, 20inches long at 6:24pm, 71 hours after beginning my first dose of cytotec, 6 hours after having my water broke, and only 30-45 minutes of pushing.

Yet this isn't the end. I give a small push and out comes the placenta. At this point I can see the concern mounting on Dr. P's face. My uterus keeps bleeding without ceasing. Thankfully the pitocin is still hooked up. They crank that and the fluids up and slowly my uterus contracts down and bleeding stops. 

Matthew is handed back to me and immediately his color improves. It was amazing to see! I am in awe and with tears in my eyes I ask James if he wants to hold him. His response, "I don't know how!" It was so cute and made my heart so happy to see him with tears in his eyes looking at us. He let me know so many times how great I did, and how beautiful I was. And how perfect our son was. James is a keeper, that is for sure!

I ask the nurse to help pass Matthew to James as I am still hooked up to the IV and the blood pressure cuff at this point. She says to him, "Here you go dad, your little burrito." And his nickname was born :-)

The doctor finishes stitching me up, informs me it was a very small tear and it won't take six weeks to heal. The epidural is starting to wear off and I am ready to get up to go to the restroom, they make me wait awhile and cath me instead.

I got to breast-feed our little guy, he does awesome and latches right on. Not going to lie it brought tears to my eyes to be able to experience such an amazing thing. 

Our favorite nurse came back on at this point, and she lets us know that Matthew needs to head to the nursery within an hour. James went with him. And I finally get to get out of that uncomfortable bed to go to the restroom. 

They warned me about the stitches hurting, but they were NOTHING compared to my bruised tail bone! It was the WORST and it still bugs me some days. We got to move over to the Mother/Baby Unit, and I got to push the birth button to make that amazing sound come across the hospital intercom. 

And in case anyone is curious, I didn't poop during delivery. :-) HAHAHA I had warned Missy and James, "I'm probably going to poop. A lot of women poop." Missy and James both let me know I didn't and it was quite exciting ;-)

And that my friends is the story of Matthew's Birth. But it wouldn't be the end of waiting and being frustrated for us. It was just the end of one chapter and the beginning of another chapter!